I’m completely untangled. I’ve decided to look for spoons. I have found I’ve been writing but not posting, waiting for the moment when I felt like doing it.
I haven’t found my rhythm. In that and in other areas of my life. I’ve been trying to get out. Got called a bitch. Am I really that vile of a person? I’m not objective. I don’t pretend to be.
I thought of both taking a break from meditating and increasing it. I had a headache today. That’s something that must be taken seriously.
Even the weather is tumultuous. The frolicky nature of going out in the cold. When you’ve been waiting to swim since you closed the pool in the fall. Falls way short of welcome in June. June and fifty degree weather.
Like the seasons won’t change. A metaphor for this reevaluation I’m doing. Will it change and become summer or will it be a long wet season, not overly hot?