Blogging

Brisk Wind

It feels so nice sitting on my balcony, in the chill air. I am Canadian. As much as I love the summer, I crave the cold by the time it arrives.

As my estrogen levels continue to fall, I haven’t so much experienced, hot flashes as general real overheating all the time, occasionally resulting in me breaking out into a full sweat.

So the cool air brings satisfying relief, especially knowing there is a warm home surrounding me, I just have to go through the door.

Spanakopita, sunflower and mushroom salad and the final piece of pumpkin pie my son in law brought to me after reducing a whole pumpkin to its pulp, well you know the drill.

I’ve found my rhythm. I’m learning to honour that little tug that suggests nap, write, swim and I feel good. Appropriately, my stomach just growled, no worries, dinner is effortlessly in your future. Relax.

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A Woman’s Woman is Published

I have touched the reality beyond the curtain a couple of times since and writing, frankly, in my own words seems to bring with it a sense of being on track. Of taking the right turn, or left one, if it had been correct. But whatever. Writing about it is how I’ll come to understand why I feel so good when I write.

IMG_6653I have to note that the writing of this piece overlaps temporally with the publication of “A Woman’s Woman” and I’m receiving blings every time someone starts to follow me or “likes” the piece. Thanks for the support. It ‘buoyancies’ me. I know that’s not a word.

Also, thanks for the synchronicity. It is lovely to authentically write while something is happening and receiving so much positive feed back.

Well, my stomach is past gurgling. It went straight through to a growl, gurgle combination. I have a delicious meal of rice, Greek Salad and Spanakopita. I whipped that up for dinner easily because all of the pieces had been created earlier. Bon Appetite.

I’m watching “Sleeping With Other People”. It affirms (Lilly is meowing, surprisingly)54

The 54 was Lilly’s contribution to the composition. I begin, again. It affirms one of my strongly held beliefs. I can’t give away what that is because it would be a spoiler. There is also a cute, or I guess not so cute, phrase, “Sexual Anorexic”. A phrase I had never heard before but, unfortunately, could be at the core of my overeating bit.

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Stomach Growling

Lilly started to meow, as though it was a signal that I have begun to write. Maybe, of course, I’m just in her room and she is protesting. She is here now, looking out the front window.

I have been trying to wait until my stomach growls before eating and of course, stopping when I’m full. Not when I feel full, before I can feel anything. When I am no longer hungry.

Current dilemma is that most of my meals take about an hour and since I don’t know if I’ll be ready to eat or not, I put them in anyway. I often eat a full one when I would otherwise have not eaten at all. That can’t be good.

So here I sit feeling the burn of black coffee and cigarettes. Waiting. See, that is the other dilemma. IMG_5958I feel hungry when I’m not actually. I cannot discern the difference. So, I needed a more objective measure and that takes me to the growl. For sure. I’m hungry. The caveat being that at that point I can eat.

It is possible, I’ve found to eat a small amount of something and still have your stomach growl. Interesting. A bird just landed in the tree out front. The sun is behind it and I can’t tell what colour it is . There is quite a wind. It is seriously cold again.

It is not so much that it is cold, it is only April, it is the great fluctuations in temperature that are unsettling. We all expect it to get gradually warmer, not hot, cold, hot, cold…

But I digress, I just thought how unsatisfying my ice water would be right now. Took a sip anyway. It seems to have been too cold. I now have a wee bit of pain in my lower esophagus.

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