Blogging, Spirituality

Wants and Desires

Just paused for a moment and realized how many competing wants and desires are jockeying for my intention. It feels as though they are fragments of me, each with its own set of wishes. What a bizzare thought.

The Vipassana teachings would say that I should give them all up. That is if my goal is enlightenment.

If this were true, or guaranteed, every monk and nun would be enlightened. If that means living that lifestyle, I’m not sure it’s worth it.

I believe I chose to be here. If that is the case, I believe I would want to experience this reality, not spend it in the pursuit of remembering where I came from, at the cost of all other experiences. 

That said, as I realize more and more that the principals of coneiya enhance my experience of life, I don’t believe, at this point anyway, full enlightenment has that much to offer me. If the cost is ridding myself of all pleasures.

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Blogging

Beyond the Curtain

I experienced a brief flash beyond the curtain, driving down a forested area on a country road, on a sunny morning. The clouds and light cast shadows across the road and the light appeared to flicker as I drove by.IMG_5179

I was overwhelmed by love and joy and connection. And some bitchy part of myself pulled me back quickly reminding me that I needed to stay in my body while I was driving the car. My first response was gratitude that I had safely returned to the car that was still on the road. It was followed immediately by loss. Loss of that wondrous feeling. But I was radiating love myself from the experience.

The bit, the part I didn’t want to start with, is when I arrived at my destination, I heard about the planes crashing into the buildings in New York. I had felt it. I hadn’t known what I was feeling, but it was pure love and connection.

We all went home that day. I forced my daughters to stay in the living room with me all evening. I was petrified that we were at the start of World War III. My understanding of the events from the perspective of this world was much different from my experience of the release, love and freedom before I knew what was going on.

But I felt love. I experienced a glimpse of the other side. What is it about death that scares us so badly? It is the one inevitability of being here. If it was that bad, we wouldn’t have agreed to be here. And yes, I think we chose to experience this. I like to think of it as a three D video game, or whatever that would be called now a days.

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Blogging

Ask For Help

I love my neighbourhood. There are a lot of dog walkers, which gives everyone the opportunity to meet each other. It has a friendly feel. I JUST ASKED FOR HELP IN WRITING AND NOW I’M TRYING TO NOT LET MY BRAIN TAKE OVER. I KNOW HOW TO TYPE WITHOUT HAVING TO THINK ABOUT IT.

THAT IS THE PROCESS FOR AWAKENING LET GO OF FEAR, DISCERN WHAT IS GOOD AND BAD FOR YOU AND THEN ASK FOR HELP.

LIKE IN EAT, PRAY, LOVE, WHEN SHE ASKS FOR HELP ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, THAT MOMENT OF SURRENDER WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU CAN’T DO IT ON YOUR OWN AND YOU JUST SAY, PLEASE HELP ME.

IMG_5778WITHOUT BEING IN THAT DIRE DISTRESS I BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE TO CREATE THE SAME EFFECT COMING FROM A PLACE OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS INTERCONNECTED.

THERE IS A BENEVOLENT ENERGY THAT IS THERE TO HELP US, BUT IT HELPS IF WE ASK.

THE OTHER HALF IS GRATITUDE. I SPOKE EARLIER OF THE SYNCHRONICITIES IN MY LIFE AND ONE THING FOR SURE IS I’M ALWAYS GRATEFUL. I STOP, REVEL IN THE JOY IT BROUGHT, JUST TO SEE THE WORLD ALIGN LIKE THAT I FIND IT VERY COOL.

ANYHOW, I STOP AND SAY THANKS AND LET THE FEELING OF GRATITUDE RADIATE OUT. AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, IT IS THE BEST WAY TO DIRECT YOUR ENERGY TOWARDS THE THINGS YOU WANT. SAY THANKS WHEN YOU GET IT.

THIS HAS, OF COURSE, RESULTED IN EVEN MORE SYNCHRONICITIES.

I just noticed that I have been typing in all upper case. I wonder if that was on purpose. I seldom accidentally hit the all caps key. But it must have started when I stopped to ask for help.

Interesting.

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