I’ll say it right up front. My specialty is narcissists, but I have come to see that not all abuse is without empathy. The tools are the same and the reason they work is the same.
If you have a relationship you are having trouble getting over, there may have been some level of manipulation. If you spend countless hours trying to remember details of your day so you can be certain when you defend yourself, you are being gaslighted.
If you would rather be at work then home, you need to examine that.
Emotional abuse works because a person who is supposed to love you and take care of you instead uses their connection with you to undermine your self confidence and make you feel inadequate.
If you often feel bad after being with someone who ‘loves’ you, consider the possibility they are emotionally abusing you.