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Renaissance

There, now where were we? When, 36:08. The dog and the cat have settled and they weren’t even part of the hero’s saga I was trying to create by thinking about my day. Not an overly productive day. Well, let me explain.

IMG_6668Burning rubber. I could definitely smell burning rubber. The source was obvious. I had been on my treadmill for over an hour and that is the longest I’ve used it for quite a while. It was no longer working properly. I also was noticing a slight hesitation under my right foot, randomly and rarely and I still wasn’t a hundred percent certain that my knee wasn’t slightly locking when I wasn’t paying attention to how I walked. Anyway, I replaced it, the treadmill, not the knee.

I am in the middle of a renaissance. I haven’t done much major decorating for years and I am finding that I am updating many things at once. My new wine corker is to die for.

You simply hold the bottle in one hand and lower the cylinder head over the cork. There is a button that you hold and the cork screw goes in on its own and you just hold still until the cork is out of the device. Or rather, when the cork first comes out of the bottle, you have to push the top of the long button to reverse its direction so the cork falls off. Very smooth.

As I was saying, if I wanted to continue to be able to use a treadmill, I was going to have to buy a new one. The one I have is 19 years old. In the first house it sat proudly behind the sofa in the family room. Perfectly visible so I could go get a coffee and watch it from three different vantage points, depending on my mood. Yes. I put it there so I could watch him run. Fantastic, usually.

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To Eat or To Bed

I can emphasize with her fully. I know how it feels to be overtired and knowing that if you are going to stay up you are going to have to stimulate yourself. Eating works. She didn’t know to put herself to bed and instead demanded stimulation from me which resulted in me confining her to her crate. Wow that seemed like a long sentence. I had to come up for air.IMG_5729

I was right. I haven’t heard a peep out of her. I knew she must sleep all day confined and sleeping is what she most likely did in that situation. I guess she wasn’t ready to relax unless she was forced to.

So today had all the elements of an epic journey. The hero, defeat, and I don’t know how it ends. Unlike images we have of the past where people walked long distances just to complete their work for the day. Now, we just jump in a car. But is it any less “real” than what they were facing? Are we any more likely to die or have something unexpected happen? Isn’t that truly the elements that make up our lives, the shared understanding of love, chance and loss.

So waiting until my favourite stereo and television store, Powerline, is open. Lilly is here. She realized that Sophie was not going to bother her and so she decided to rule the office. She cam t [retemd tjat

Realizing that I was not typing properly, I stopped and petted Lilly for a while. Now my entire face has cat hair on it. It is all up and down my front. Give me a second to deal with that, I’ll be back in a second. I promise.

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A Woman’s Woman is Published

I have touched the reality beyond the curtain a couple of times since and writing, frankly, in my own words seems to bring with it a sense of being on track. Of taking the right turn, or left one, if it had been correct. But whatever. Writing about it is how I’ll come to understand why I feel so good when I write.

IMG_6653I have to note that the writing of this piece overlaps temporally with the publication of “A Woman’s Woman” and I’m receiving blings every time someone starts to follow me or “likes” the piece. Thanks for the support. It ‘buoyancies’ me. I know that’s not a word.

Also, thanks for the synchronicity. It is lovely to authentically write while something is happening and receiving so much positive feed back.

Well, my stomach is past gurgling. It went straight through to a growl, gurgle combination. I have a delicious meal of rice, Greek Salad and Spanakopita. I whipped that up for dinner easily because all of the pieces had been created earlier. Bon Appetite.

I’m watching “Sleeping With Other People”. It affirms (Lilly is meowing, surprisingly)54

The 54 was Lilly’s contribution to the composition. I begin, again. It affirms one of my strongly held beliefs. I can’t give away what that is because it would be a spoiler. There is also a cute, or I guess not so cute, phrase, “Sexual Anorexic”. A phrase I had never heard before but, unfortunately, could be at the core of my overeating bit.

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Growl to Gurgle

I’ve lowered the bar a little on the stomach growl. I’ve noticed, that I can go all day without eating and that is not the goal here. So, I’ve reduced it to a gurgle. There is a large distinction, but sometimes a gurgle is all I get. Still objective.

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View from Alberni Inlet Cruise in BC

I guess part of the adjustment to this new way of eating is coming to terms with how little I actually need to eat and how I systematically got into the habit of overeating. I eat when my stomach gurgles. If I was over hungry it would be making noise continually and it’s not.

I also half expected it to start to demand more because it has been in a deficit so long. It has not. I did eat last night before I had even a gurgle, but the desire to eat. To find the comfort and familiarity of sitting with some food, at home finally, exhausted and looking to renew my spirit.

Lilly just came meowing in. She’s sitting facing out on a blanket box under the middle window. There is a lot of wind so the plants are keeping her searching for movement possibly a small creature.

It is incredibly cold and windy out.

I didn’t end up going to see my daughter and it turned out that that may have been a good thing. I was really upset by the end of work today. First, a bag of emotions then each individually for a while.

Suffice it to say, a woman I work with brought this on. Now as I write that I realize that she did what she did, but the interpretation was my own. Why had I given her that power? Why did I think I knew why she had behaved as she did?

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