I had to write a current post. This won’t get published until after the glut of posts that have been building up. I am now posting all of the bits I wrote while finishing the wall. I have sat outside for most of the day and just as I began to post, the wind picked up.
I came in from the balcony. I couldn’t sit very long because the temperature has dropped dramatically and it was too cold to sit outside. I’ve noticed the winds of change before. Usually, they herald a change. Not a huge change, but change. Like trim tabs of a rudder are moved just slightly to start the charge of direction of a large boat. Shifting the rudder suddenly, does not work.
Recently, I returned from a Vipassana retreat. It was the first 10 day course that took me from being a ‘new student’ to being an ‘old student’ in the way they are defined by this centre. I am now trying to adjust to what I’ve learned. I am now meditating, in the way it was taught.
Also, I am trying to integrate the teaching into my life. Not the religious dogma part, the part about finding a place to occupy where I feel neither craving nor aversion. Writing is what began immediately to fill this space, but I can feel my thoughts being rewritten as I consider what I’ve learned and how it applied to who I am.