Before we begin, I’d like to speak directly about drama itself. It can be exhilarating to be swept up in romance. The passion of make-up sex, the heightened emotions. Many movies are created for the sole purpose of taking the audience on a passionate adventure. We live to feel emotion. But it can get tiring.
When you realize a pre-occupation with the swings of your relationship is consuming your days, it may occur to you your entire life is unhappy. So, consider the possibility that you crave the drama and that is what keeps you there, then ask yourself is it worth it?
What I mean is this. Do you want most of your life to be in the background because you are always dealing with the emotions surrounding a fight, or the silent treatment, or odd behaviour? Narcissists cause this drama and the initial appeal is lost because it has the power to overrun your life eventually.
The easiest way to eliminate a narcissist is no contact, even through other people. Unfortunately, many of us have had to co-parent, or wanted to maintain a relationship with other members of the family. For people in these situations, it is harder.
Strict no contact is the gold standard. This includes letting all of your mutual relationships know you don’t care if they continue their relationship with the person you no longer want to hear from. Also, you would appreciate not being brought up to date while you are together. Any friend who can’t respect that may be drawn to the same pathology and might better be reconsidered.