After having a fight with myself earlier about my phone on the balcony, I started wondering, if only for a moment, how to distinguish that presence, or knowing, from the constant barrage of word generation. I remembered a teaching by Martha Beck.
Martha Beck suggests mastering being present including waiting for your body to give direction instead of verbally deciding what to do next. This is quite difficult to do. I usually think, I’ll go here and do this and then I’ll go there and do that and then I proceed.
What Martha recommends is to stand and not give yourself any direction. She spoke about dancing or moving in place just to unlock your body and feel it moving. Then, you simply “allow” any movement that wants to occur.
It is surprising when you do this because it turns out there is an “agenda” that you might ignore all of the time. It is an interesting perspective to just allow what is, instead of thinking about it, experience it.
Like my fight with myself was my inability to let go of what I had “decided” to do and let myself just do what I wanted. I knew what I wanted. The argument I was having with myself was just background noise.