“I should bring it.” “I can comeback and get it later.” Truth was, I had a dialogue going with myself and I was stuck in the middle, getting just a tad pissed off, trying to decide whether or not to bring my phone onto the balcony.IMG_6487

Truth was I didn’t know. Which brought into question, if I am the one observing two counter arguments who are the other bitches and who is actually doing the observing?

Desperately trying to sit down and write and coming up against a belief from the “think me thin era”. Obviously, not related to food, but the structure I had developed. I had an order to do things in. It was not to be questioned. I had a set of self-imposed rules to follow.

There is a greater chance of the phone getting damaged if I take it outside. So that was always a consideration. Not so much today on a sunny Saturday morning. Finally, I decided to write, which meant I needed my phone.

Now, I’m going to have my double espresso and a smoke if you don’t mind. Am I being bullied by my addiction to nicotine, to make it the priority? I need more research.


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