Now, I think I’ll go watch some more Sherlock. I hope the woman is a common plot theme. It is too early to tell, but it is engaging. I especially like the face Sherlock makes when the intensity of his desire is almost too much for him to suppress and it comes off as calculated coolness.IMG_5930

I just reread the last part of what I wrote and almost started to cry. I am getting closer to pure authenticity all of the time. That, and the fact that I am trying to not suppress my emotions with food. All kinds of shit is coming up. I was listening to Jimmy Buffet while I sat in the pool smoking cigarettes and drinking ice water and reading my Oprah magazine. Multitasking, I like to call it.

A song came on “When the Coast is Clear“. It made me miss the rhythms of back to school for my girls. From 1992 to just recently, back to school was a build up that ended the summer. I miss those times in my life. I need to reorganize those wonderful memories in a way that makes me relive the joy of the memory rather than the pain of the loss.

All kinds of reminders. I blogged earlier songs from lost loves.

I think I’ll go watch Sherlock, now.


Tempered Ice Cream

Tempered ice cream. Take a spoonful of the ice cream and set it down. This is just temporary, you don’t need a specific set up. Then put the lid back onto the ice cream and return it to the freezer. In the time it takes to put the container away, the ice cream on the spoon is almost completely tempered. If you can, wait another minute. If not, indulge immediately. Either way, this is the perfect amount. Have more another time, there is plenty left.IMG_6875

I received two likes while writing just now. They came in back to back and my fantasy is that a friend shared it and they both liked it at the same time. None the less, I greatly appreciate all of the support that I’ve been receiving. I have been attempting to put myself out there and the support has done wonders for me. Thanks.

There was an advertisement on the radio for volunteers to go and visit elderly people perhaps to play a board game or something like that. I have recognized that one of the things I’d like to do is volunteer. The problem is, it had to be something that I enjoyed doing for its own sake. I could manage a website, for instance, but that would not satisfy all of my needs. My number one right now is loneliness. So, human contact would be required.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call that a synchronicity, and after a day or so of thought I might change my mind. It was an advertisement and that is the purpose for them. But, I did put it out there to the universe that volunteering might be a good thing.

See how I feel tomorrow.



Max Taken in the garage, because it was raining.

I’ve been meaning to talk about Max, my current love. He was one of the ones I missed while in Spain. I would see a familiar look and stop, look and long for Max. He originated both out of a long held passion and the writings of Martha Beck, one of my teachers. There are only so many ways that you can deal with a problem. There’s a catchy way to remember them, but all I know is if you have to do something and you can’t give it away or pay someone to do it, you should make it as enjoyable as possible.

In this instance, a huge amount of my time was spent driving my daughters around. How could I make that as enjoyable as possible? And in walked Max. He is a 328i, 2009, dark metallic blue, cabriolet, BMW. And in my not so unbiased opinion has the best front end of any other make or model of BMW. Looking at it makes me want to growl.

The sounds system allowed my girls to play their own music and having the roof down makes any day better. Suffice it to say, sometimes between a mother and a daughter, it is good to be reminded that you can enjoy each other’s company without having to converse. And who can converse with the top down and the music blasting?

Especially in the winter with the seat heaters on and the windows up. The number of seat positions are infinite. They are all motorized and both parts of the seat can move independently in multiple directions. Total comfort. This is the first car I’ve ever been able to use the head rest in.

Max currently, makes the opportunity to drive the distances necessary to see my daughters, even more pleasant and I am more likely to drive one of the girls home knowing Max will be there with me.



Watching carefully for that split between I’m enjoying this mouthful and I want to get the next bite. It is subtle and ingrained. Specifically designed to make the bits overlap so that you don’t notice you’re not hungry anymore.

I stopped to experience a mouthful of pizza. This is where words fail me. It was a jumble of temperatures, textures, tastes and touch. The luxury of swallowing. The response of my salivary glands, the afterglow of the spices. That is what eating is like when you are hungry. No need to think about fat and sugar if you are reducing overall how much you eat.

Food must be delicious. Why eat something you’re not enjoying, at all? But I digress. I’m still trying to adequately define the difference between hunger and just wanting to eat more. That time, I was going to get more, just as I finished. I might be on a red herring here, but its worth investigating.

Now espresso. No question, my favourite. The coffee, sugar and cream in a very small volume, quite concentrated and intense. A small sip can be completely satisfying and certainly won’t make you feel overfull.

Being very careful about not overeating has begun to make me feel powerful. I am maximizing my enjoyment of eating. This is going hand and hand with not eating too much. It feels empowering.

I just had some coffee ice cream from the stand at the Farmer’s market. They took chocolate covered, Starbuck’s espresso beans and ground them up and added them to the ice cream. Fantastic. I knew I had had enough when I got distracted enough to be thinking about next steps.

When you begin to pay attention there is quite a difference between actually focusing on eating and letting your mind slip into other concerns. The first one I noticed of course was taking the next bite. It is still another focus. It means you’ve lost the enjoyment of eating.

My first analysis of the above would suggest that you would either learn to pay more attention to the food you were eating or forget to pay attention at all.



As I mentioned, I’m trying the free Hootsuite Pro Program for 90 days. One of the things it has suggested I do is be on Pinterest. Not directly, but by identifying an audience. The main users of Pinterest are women. Last time I checked…IMG_6793

After a day or two, a realization cropped up. Many of my posts are centred around photographs already and it would be a new experience posting to that sort of site. So I’ll probably get around to doing that in the next little while. I’ll let you know.

I learned something new about nail polish the other day. It is best not to try to apply it in direct sun. It wasn’t even that hot, a 70 degree day, but the sun dried it so fast it was difficult to get on evenly. The manicure is OK. Good enough for sitting at home writing at the very least. I do enjoy seeing a splash of pink when I look at my hands.


Small Synchronicity

Spoiler alert. If you plan to watch Sherlock, this gives away some plot and some humour.

In Sherlock, one of the minor plot lines is that he has recently quit smoking, but he still needs the nicotine to focus. The Chinese government recognized this aspect and encouraged smoking to its work force. Sherlock has three large round nicotine patches on his arm and he’s applying pressure to them, likely try to maximize the absorption of the nicotine.IMG_6684

He has asked all of the vendors within a two mile walking radius, to no longer sell him cigarettes. So the option of buying them has been eliminated. In one scene he becomes so desperate he lets a client smoke and then gets close enough to inhale his exhale. It looks quite absurd, but his personality is consistently over the top.

Small synchronicity. I was cleaning up my email and I tried to save an email regarding the ISBN of my new book. The computer was slow. I chose the email and clicked on “save as” and nothing happened. I decided to try to exercise some patience after about the third attempt and decided to re-read the email that was essentially a receipt for my ISBN number, except that they are free in Canada.

Anyway, while reading the email in detail, I found out that I have a legal obligation to submit copies of my work to the national archives. This practice dates back to the 1500s in France where they recognized the importance of having all of the books in one place. This has now been expanded into other mediums, but the synchronicity is not lost.

If my computer had been co-operating, I would’ve filed the email, deleted it and never read it. I am recognizing that if things don’t go swimmingly, I should stop and pay attention, I am supposed to realize something or I’m on the wrong path.



No Longer Hungry?

Anyway, I left the book on the deck. I never do that. I often put it away the instant I’m done writing. The impulse was to take it with me and do just that. But, I’m not expecting company and if I left it out it really wouldn’t matter. So I sat down just now to write and I was having trouble with my mouse.IMG_6850

You see my mouse is one of those red laser types. I need a hard surface. My picnic table is a round piece of glass sitting on top of a weave of some sort. Without my notebook, I wouldn’t have been able to use my mouse. Small I admit, but a big deal every time you have to use the touchpad instead.

I just noticed a thought I had about eating. I was going on in my mind about when to stop eating. The best way to describe it is when you are no longer hungry. Simple enough, but the devil is in the details. How do you define ‘no longer hungry’.

It is the change from enjoying the food to thinking about getting some more, while there is food in your mouth

This is still a concept I am perfecting. I had my first AHA moment, sorry Oprah, its become a thang, in Spain. Truth was I was there walking to figure things out. Multiple things. I would often get hungry during the day and I knew that if I ate too much, it would make walking uncomfortable for a while. This is a huge inconvenience when you are trying to average 15 km/day.

I had to learn when I could stop eating. I always had food with me in my pack, but it made more sense to eat less, stop more often (I usually had to anyway) and learn to stop eating when I wasn’t hungry. Feeling hungry after a stop was equally disturbing.