Blogging

Smoking

Well, a vast majority of all smokers end up going on anti-depressents instead. So we’ve substituted margarine. No drug is without side effects, unfortunately the best way to do long term studies on their side effects is to sell them and see what happens. We all saw the hormone supplementation stories.

Beautiful waterfall taken on a visit to my daughter in BC. Has nothing to do with smoking.

Beautiful waterfall taken on a visit to my daughter in BC. Has nothing to do with smoking.

So we glibly enter into a scientific experiment. Yes, I get it, Smoking is bad for you. So why do the French who smoke more than any other group live longer than Canadians? Huh, maybe it is because they have learned to relax, enjoy life and savour the moment more.

Guess what. They stop and have a smoke. They smoke in cafes and the first time I went they were smoking inside buildings. Everyone smokes. We forgot about the social aspect of smoking. The leading cause of death in men my age is suicide. So, the anti-smoking laws are having their effect. They are reducing the number of deaths by smoking by increasing suicides.

Well done. For those who don’t believe me look around. Where did the Bingo Halls go? What about bowling alleys? The Legions, as well, are all having trouble. The one in town moved into a building about a quarter of the size and even they rent it to others.

But I digress. When I think of all of the possible answers to the question. What is the purpose of my life? I know for sure, the answer is not to delay my death. Something that I truly have no control over. So, that said, I’m going to sit on my balcony, enjoy some fresh air. I may see some neighbours, birds, cats or dogs and I’ll enjoy the feeling of nicotine washing over my body.

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ABC Already Been Chewed

I do like to chew flavourless gum. It is not something I know where to buy, so I buy gum made with real gum and regular sugar. To the disgust of many of my acquaintances, I have a dish that I put the ABC into so that I can reuse it. I know from experience that if I chew fresh gum, I more often IMG_6643than not just keep opening fresh pieces to get the sugar again. Not my idea of ideal. Anyhoo, it is satisfying my urge to chew. Chewing for its own sake. I get it.

Dress fitting tomorrow. My daughter is getting married, and as I’ve mentioned there are too many daughters to keep track of so lets just call them all daughters. You know what I mean. Otherwise, I’d have to keep reminding every one who was whom, yuck.

Anywho, I’m going to have a smoke. Yes, I smoke. I am not a closet smoker, too hard on the clothes. But I rarely smoke anywhere other than at home, so most people don’t know I smoke or likely ever bothered to think about it.

I didn’t start until I was an adult. I figured anything that controversial must be enjoyable. It is. My prediction is that smoking is going to become the next butter. We spent years suffering through margarines instead of enjoying real food, only to find out, shocker! the real food is better for you.

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A Woman’s Woman

So I watched a bit of Episodes, which is streaming on Netflix. One of my favourites.

The drapes being closed puts a whole different look in the room. There is a large bay window, so there is plenty of sunlight. The drapes cover that so the effect is dramatic. In that theme they are my favourite burgundy with gold and green splashed on them in the shape of flowers.

So, Saturday afternoon, several things off of my to do list, nice meal and now I am going to watch a movie. I got two from the library.

I’m watching the movie I got at the library and it is a bunch of bad guys and good guys and computer shit. I must explain that I don’t read what a movie is about because it gives too much away for me. I’ve never recovered from knowing ET lives, so sue me.

Anyhow, bad guy stuff and then the movie announces that a woman will explain what is going on. Then they zoom in on my dream life. Gorgeous make-up, upswept hair, just in my colour. Large, marble bathtub filled with bubbles. A woman’s woman. Topped off every so nicely when someone, named Benjamin, refills her champagne. I hung on every word she said.

She had those drawn in eyebrows. Not the fine line from my generation, a thick caterpillar type of brow that is mainly created by drawing the shape on with and eyebrow pencil. Now it is not as hideous as I’m making it sound. These are nice looking brows, I just had to refuse when my daughter said she would draw them on me. It is just not my style, thanx.

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Cooking for Just Me

I just had a wee bit of nosh. Actually, a full beef roast dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy. I had it in the oven today when I was preparing other foods. I had snacked a bit during that time, so I wasn’t hungry just yet, as defined by the stomach growl.

So I came in here to type. I guess it is worth while mentioning that the main place I write is at home, but there are several locations. Recently, I have only been writing in my office, which has the IMG_6538heavy drapes closed at the moment, because it sits at the front door and I really don’t want to have to talk to anybody right now.

This is my unscheduled time I can structure however I want. Nothing interferes with it. I guess, unless, I want it to. Door to door people, not so much.

I had a great morning. There is a superior farmer’s market here. I do wish they would’ve found more square footage on the site. It was known for being a little cramped. But it’s nice. The flower guy was back and I so enjoyed walking past his bouquets. I thought about buying myself flowers for the kitchen table.

I’m funny about that. I love them, but I don’t want it to be their forever home. I want something with a lifespan of two weeks or less. Picturing flowers in the kitchen reminded me of a memory. Suddenly there was a flash of red and white balloons. We had brought them home from an event. Good memories.

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Patterns

There is a full moon tonight. Another pattern. The full moon has been punctuating my life ever since the election. When I was waiting to board the plane for Spain there was a full moon outside the window. I took a very poor photo. I still wanted one, even though I knew it wouldn’t turn out very well. The memory is nice, even if the photo is not publication worthy.

The turning point on the Camino was also a full moon.IMG_5403

Its ten. I think I’ll go to bed. I’d like to stay up longer, but I’m too tired and if I stay up, I’m just going to eat. I keep learning that lesson over and over again.

I feel like I’ve had an epiphany. I have been letting my left brain structure how I would spend my writing time. Instead, I’ve realized that I want to just rant. I have these thoughts in my brain anyhow. Write what you know! So I am. I love the SS in this font. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing what font you will be reading this in. Hope you enjoy it.

I just got into an argument with myself. This is a process. It is not as though all of my editors died as soon as I decided to be more authentic. They just went to war over what to say next. So, I’ll leave it at that and return later.

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Leftover Lasagna

The drive was nice today. I had my phone hooked up to the audio system in the car. Adele on the way there and my favourites on the way back. My favourites were compiled in 2009, coming up on seven years ago. They were the songs that had staying power and some were quite old by then.

I made a CD so I had music I liked without having to put on the radio. I still like those songs and I don’t play the CD enough to get sick of it.

I’m falling in love with Shazam. I never followed music or movies for that matter. There are few stars I can name and fewer movies. So I get out Shazam and find out the name of music I like, I love it. I feel like I’ve won some sort of prize when fewer and 1000 people have Shazamed it. It is like music so few people have heard. Some of it is wonderful. 264 is the lowest so far. Broadway, Lee KonitzIMG_6532. The YouTube video has less than 100!

I shazamed  a piano piece during a Star Trek Deep Space Nine Episode and I believe only a few people had done that before as well.

An actual growl. I’m eating up the left over lasagna from the dinner I had with my daughter. There are too many daughters to keep straight, so lets just say, my daughter. Romero’s is currently my favourite restaurant, and largely because it makes lasagna like I got in restaurants when I was young. Love that.

So I knew my white, Italian bread loving daughter would enjoy some of the meal at least. That is the bread that is white and Italian, not the daughter.

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Ask For Help

I love my neighbourhood. There are a lot of dog walkers, which gives everyone the opportunity to meet each other. It has a friendly feel. I JUST ASKED FOR HELP IN WRITING AND NOW I’M TRYING TO NOT LET MY BRAIN TAKE OVER. I KNOW HOW TO TYPE WITHOUT HAVING TO THINK ABOUT IT.

THAT IS THE PROCESS FOR AWAKENING LET GO OF FEAR, DISCERN WHAT IS GOOD AND BAD FOR YOU AND THEN ASK FOR HELP.

LIKE IN EAT, PRAY, LOVE, WHEN SHE ASKS FOR HELP ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, THAT MOMENT OF SURRENDER WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU CAN’T DO IT ON YOUR OWN AND YOU JUST SAY, PLEASE HELP ME.

IMG_5778WITHOUT BEING IN THAT DIRE DISTRESS I BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE TO CREATE THE SAME EFFECT COMING FROM A PLACE OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS INTERCONNECTED.

THERE IS A BENEVOLENT ENERGY THAT IS THERE TO HELP US, BUT IT HELPS IF WE ASK.

THE OTHER HALF IS GRATITUDE. I SPOKE EARLIER OF THE SYNCHRONICITIES IN MY LIFE AND ONE THING FOR SURE IS I’M ALWAYS GRATEFUL. I STOP, REVEL IN THE JOY IT BROUGHT, JUST TO SEE THE WORLD ALIGN LIKE THAT I FIND IT VERY COOL.

ANYHOW, I STOP AND SAY THANKS AND LET THE FEELING OF GRATITUDE RADIATE OUT. AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, IT IS THE BEST WAY TO DIRECT YOUR ENERGY TOWARDS THE THINGS YOU WANT. SAY THANKS WHEN YOU GET IT.

THIS HAS, OF COURSE, RESULTED IN EVEN MORE SYNCHRONICITIES.

I just noticed that I have been typing in all upper case. I wonder if that was on purpose. I seldom accidentally hit the all caps key. But it must have started when I stopped to ask for help.

Interesting.

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